Rebeccah Colleen

Waiting can be the sort of activity that drives you crazy and for some it does.  However, waiting can also clear you mind.  It can free you up to think deeply of things that you rarely have time to think about because of the hussle and bussle of life.  In the job that I just took, working at a locally owned baby boutique, I do a lot of waiting.  I wait for customers to come into the store so that I can assist them in finding something for their new baby, their granddaughter, or the baby who they only really know because they work with someone whose daughter is having a baby soon.  I also wait for shipments to come in so that I can input them into the computer, print labels and then display them for the customers that I am also waiting for. While I have only worked at the store for five days, I can already tell you that I find a lot of liberation in waiting.  I have been in a hurry most of my life.  If it wasn’t after school activities, it was homework, erands, grocery shopping, or simply filling my time with hanging out with friends.  In a sense it is forced alone time. I must sit here.

While I sit here I think about all sorts of things. While my friend Margaret would probably think that I sit and think about the opposite sex most of the day but this is simply not true.  They seem actually quite boring lately. The ones that seem appeal even just a little, are so slow going or not going that, well, who cares, really?  This is perhaps the saddest thing about being a formally very sexual person who has now lost interest in practically all them men she knows…I’m stil sexually attracted to a group of people whom I’m not currently finding pleasure being around.  This is in fact quite a strange feeling.  While most people would say that it should not be as confusing or weird since hook-up culture is fairly normal, Christian morality forbids me from engaging in sexual activity with anyone with whom I’m not in a marital committed relationship with, sooooo…hook-ups….not a go.  Darn morals!